Monday, December 31, 2012

And we wait AGAIN!!!

Say what Embassy, you need another document??? Yep, we now wait again... (insert jeopardy music) OK forget that (insert "Another One Bites the Dust") no, not that one... (insert "There's a Tear in My Beer") OK not that one either.... how about ("Blue Christmas")...

     The embassy is wanting another document that according to our agency they've never requested before. There are no worries or concerns about obtaining this document. However, it will just take some time. We are not sure exactly how long this will take. We were told it could be a few weeks. Just so you know a few MORE weeks feels like FOREVER.
     We were also told by one of the owners of our agency that in all of her 20+ years we have had one of the most difficult adoption journey's she's ever witnessed. She by no means said that as a discouragement. She actually said it as an encouragement. Say what? How is that an encouragement??? Well, you see when you live for Jesus you should expect opposition, and especially when you're being obedient to what He's calling you to. Really, makes you excited about following God huh? Well, it should!!!
     As crazy as this sounds trials truly weren't meant to destroy you, but make you stronger. I'm always reminded of a sweet family at our church when I'm feeling woe is me and having my "where are you God moments". Here's a news clip so you can know some of their story: http://chicago.cbslocal.com/2011/03/04/deadly-tragedy-spurs-janet-willis-to-write-book-on-heaven/

You see we aren't promised as believers to have "Our Best Life Now"... Are you kidding me??? No, way! This life is temporary. Our best life is to come. I don't have all the whys behind what God allows, but I do trust Him. The beginning of our adoption was some of the most painful times for Brian and I. Very few know of all the HOO HA that happened, but not a thing happened that didn't pass through my Savior's sovereign hands first. He bottled every tear we shed and allowed every bit of it - to torture us, NO - For HIS glory. I like to think of all the trials in my life as my Job moments.  I like to think that God says there is a daughter and son of Mine in the land of  Tennessee and they are good. Not that we ourselves are good, but that He sees us through the blood of Christ and He call us righteous. Well, and then of course as you know the book of Job Satan says let me at em' and we like to think God says OK, but you will NEVER overtake them. I mean truly flea from the person that teaches the "come to Jesus and your life will be full of health, wealth, prosperity and you will no longer go through such heart ache and tragedy". The bible is full of believers that suffered, yes, that's right they suffered. Again, makes you excited about being a Christ follower huh? Well, you see this world is NOT my home nor is it the home of those that have put their faith and trust in the finished work of Christ on the cross. One day God will wipe every tear from my eye and my sorrow shall be no more. -Rev 21:4
     Here's what I know about the trials in my life, they have made me love God more. Mainly because they bring out the worst in me and make me so grateful for His amazing grace. His grace is a gift that I don't deserve, but He still gives it to me and He's not taking it back. When I held my almost 12 week old baby in my hands I was reminded of the scripture in Romans 8:28 that said, And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Well, let me say I think I hated that verse at the moment. Gasp- yes I typed that... However, God still loved me and was so patient with me. He loved me through my anger and never let me go. You see He never does let you go once you are His. There were several scriptures that He kept bringing to my mind. Another one was Psalms 34:18 The LORD is near the brokenhearted; He saves those crushed in spirit. Lord Jehovah is near to the broken hearted and he saves the meek in spirit. You see I still don't know all the whys behind everything, He allows in a believers life, but I do know that I was created to bring Him glory and that's what I want to do. Losing six children at one time for the Willis family is a trial that most of us will never endure, but here's what I know - that sweet family has brought our Father much glory. They get that this is not their home, I get that this is not my home and although when trials come, my flesh creeps in, and causes me to be weak and stumble - He that is in me is stronger. It never failed that the times He's called me to speak/teach were always on the worst day. Like seriously, I'm the speaker at a women's retreat and just finished 1 of 3 sessions and find out my sweet bulldog Jack had died. The night I was to share God's story in my life at the Hope Center here in Nashville we were told we would not be able to adopt our girls. The next time I speak at the Hope Center we had a time crunch of papers and yet again our adoption was pending, my middle son was diagnosed with PFAPA, we got medical bills in the mail for thousands, still owed thousands on the adoption, my youngest son was being watched to see if he too had PFAPA, which we now know he does as well. There were many more things I could type that was going on at those times too, but you get the drift. Hee hee makes you excited about serving God doesn't it??? Well, the truth is I don't always like what God allows in my life. I'm not sure you heard that so let me say it again in a way that you'll really get it, " I think the things God has allowed in my life... umm... well SUCK"!!! However, I wouldn't change a thing because I trust HIM. I really do!!! Please remind me of this before I'm called to speak/teach again... lol. Yes, Lord I trust you and yes, Lord I need you, and yes Lord I'm grateful for Your Word and grateful for Your love towards me even when I curse You to Your face. You, Lord are my refuge, my deliverer and my life is not my own, it's Yours!!! 
     So now that you know some more of "MY CRAZY" let me share with you one of my absolute favorite songs that brings me so much healing. This one is so much better than the depressing one's above...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGniRk_GcLs
I will trust you Lord and your timing and thank you for your Grace when I rebel so much against what you've allowed in my life. Lord I'm grateful that you have blessed me with nine children, three that are with you and six here to raise to know your truths!!!

2 comments:

  1. Oh, Melissa. Tears here as I read your update. You are one amazing Sister! Thank you for trusting in Him and showing us true faith. I'm believing there is a peaceful calm after the storm for the Snow Bunch.
    "You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing. The Lord is righteous in all His ways. Gracious in all His works. The Lord is near to those who call upon Him; to all who call upon Him in truth. He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him. He will also hear their cry and save them. The Lord preserves all who love Him." Psalm 145:16-20
    Sending so much love to you and yours,
    Patty

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  2. It is amazing how strong you are. I know exactly what you mean, though. When my husband was going through three types of Stage 4 cancer, it was hard not to ask God, Why? It was amazing the strength that God will give us as Christians when we are going through hard times. We look back and see how it drew us closer together as a couple. People we didn't know were even praying for us around the world.

    I pray that the Lord will work it out that you will soon be able to bring your three precious little girls home. May the Lord continue to bless your family.

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